I’m returning to Boston tomorrow but before I go I wanted to write this letter to you. All the thoughts and feelings that have been bubbling up inside me are finally overflowing from this pen and I’m leaving this letter for you so that you don’t feel that I’m putting you under any great pressure. I understand that you will need to take your time trying to decide what I am about to say.
I no what’s going on, Rosie. You’re my best friend and I can see the sadness in your eyes. I no that Greg isn’t away working for the weekend. You never could lie to me; you were always terrible at it. Your eyes betray you time and time again. Don’t pretend that everything is perfect because I see it isn’t. I see that Greg is a selfish man who has absolutely no idea just how lucky he is and it makes me sick.
He is the luckiest man in the world to have you, Rosie, but he doesn’t deserve you and you deserve far better. You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you’re doing, where you are, who you’re with and if you’re OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and who can protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you happy, really happy, dancing-on-air happy. Someone who should have taken the chance to be with you years ago instead of becoming scared and being afraid to try.
I am not scared anymore, Rosie. I am not afraid to try. I no what that feeling was at your wedding – it was jealousy. My heart broke when I saw the women I love turning away from me to walk down the aisle with another man, a man she planned to spent the rest of her life with. It was like a prison sentence for me – years streching ahead without me being able to tell you how I feel or hold you how I wanted to.
Twice we’ve stood behind each other at the altar, Rosie. Twice. And twice we got it wrong. I needed you to be there for my wedding day but I was too stupid to see that I needed you to be the reason for my wedding day.
I should never have let your lips leave mine all those years ago in Boston. I should never have pulled away. I should never have panicked. I should never have wasted all those years without you. Give me a chance to make them up to you. I love you, Rosie, and I want to be with you and Katie and Josh. Always.
Please think about it. Don’t waste your time on Greg. This is our opportunity. Let’s stop being afraid and take the chance. I promise I’ll make you happy.
All my love,
—–recited from chapter nineteen—–
By the way, it was not until 20 years later from the time at which this letter was written by Alex (after Rosie’s 30th birthday), it eventually came to Rosie’s hand. 😦